Recovery time

Really?!  I can't believe you just said that....

Really?! I can’t believe you just said that….

I’m still recovering from my trip last week. In fact, I will likely be recovering for months to come, but only with extensive therapy and red wine.

To distract myself, let’s talk about something else.

I was recently told that I’m different than many HR people. If that isn’t the ultimate compli-dis then I’m not sure what is.

What I believe they meant is that I will say what’s on my mind. Or At least I give off that impression.

You see, I’m frequently chewing over (read:over-analyzing) my words but then some days my brain to mouth speed is ridiculously fast which means I can often fire of pretty good one-liners and responses.

This can get me either laughs or trouble. If I’m really good, I can get both with the same comment.

So witty remarks aside – I believe what the person meant is that I often say what others are thinking but don’t want to say…and apparently HR doesn’t do this enough. I assume that this person’s experience with us HR folk was limited to vague, non-committal, and PC-laced comments.

And really not many want to hear that.

Then there are those of us (because I know I’m not an anomaly in HR) that say what needs to be said – whether it’s going to be popular or appreciated.

Oddly enough, not many want to hear that either.

So why do it?

My decision on what to say is motivated primarily by sleep.

You see I don’t do well with little sleep, in fact I can be a downright nasty piece of work. Oh sure one night isn’t too bad, but after a few nights of tossing and turning I could easily swing a spot on the Walking Dead.

So what keeps me up at night? All the things that I didn’t say – the biting of my tongue, the keeping quiet when I disagreed or had a different point of view…

But it’s more than that – I actually don’t say everything I think. I mull over and weigh the risks vs benefits of being completely honest, over-sharing, and being a smart-ass.

I think that might be what makes me a bit different than some – I pick my battles. I’m willing to share my thoughts and handle the consequence of my words. Sometimes.

Other times I just let it go realize that very little good will come me saying what I really think. Even when pressed. Continually. Over the course of an entire week. With guilt-inducing persistence.

Pass the wine – I have a therapy session to go to.


5 thoughts on “Recovery time

  1. Simple and effective message! I was once given some advice by a previous boss – if something’s still bothering you after a night’s sleep (or non-sleep!) then it’s worth sharing. But combined with this, whether you share in the moment or later, the crucial thing is about the intent of what you’re saying. We’ve had a thing of encouraging ‘in the moment feedback’ to avoid performance issues being glossed over/ignored and help people be better at what they do. A great reason to say what you think. Trouble is some used it as the chance for an ‘in the moment rant to make myself feel better’.
    Always about the intent.

    • Thank you for the comment. I know people who say exactly what they are thinking and hide behind the guise of “I’m just being honest”. In my books being honest does not give you a license to be an asshole. Just like every other type of message – how you deliver it (and intent) is as (if not more) important than what you say.

  2. Pingback: Best Blogs 14 February 2014 | ChristopherinHR

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