Common denominators

I understand that there's been issues with hair in the sink, but I don't know why you think that's my fault?

I understand that there’s been issues with hair in the sink, but I don’t know why you think that’s my fault?

There’s someone I know who has a lot of trouble with relationships. I don’t mean just romantic relationships, but also with other family members.

I have my own theories and opinions about some of the contributing factors, but ultimately the result is that this person has a tendency to smother and scare people off. It’s kind of sad – I mean the person is just trying to be nice, to do what others want, to be what others want.

It would be easy to say that I feel bad except for one minor thing. This person truly believes that every difficult and failed relationship is the fault of the other person. Every single time.

I would have thought that if no one returns my calls, wants to get together, or has cut off ties with me…I would have sat back and thought, hmmm…what is the common denominator in this situation.

Yeah, that would be me.

But we are living in delusional times people and it’s easy to convince yourself that because you had good intentions and did all the right things that you couldn’t possibly be at fault.


Now I would like to turn the spotlight on me. I’ve talked about how HR was not my first direction and I am still relatively “new” to it.

I’m now on my third role with my third employer and I’m starting to get a bit nervous.
In each of my last roles, I left – started anew, met new people, learned a new organization and then…around the 2 year mark I start to think…huh, is this it?

Job #1: 2.5 years – left for progressive opportunity
Job #2: almost 2 years – left to progressive opportunity to regain my sanity
Current role: just passed the 2 year mark…

Like nesting urges or Spring cleaning, I’m getting antsy. It’s almost laughable how my internal employment clock has started to tick loudly.

Is it boredom? Is it insecurity? Is it restlessness?

I’m not entirely sure, but I have finally stopped to ask myself – what’s the common denominator in all these situations? Oh sure, in part it’s the work, sometimes the people…but I recognize that it’s probably me.

I think that despite the fact that I’m feeling the draw to start looking and considering what’s out there – I really need to get my shit in order and figure out what it is that I feel I’m lacking or what I need to go for before I actually move on and start over.

Failing to do this will leave me doomed to repeat the same thing over and over. Because employment is a relationship and it’s rare that one person is blameless when things go sour.

We all play a role and the best thing we can do is to figure out what that role is and recognize when you are not doing your part.


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