Perhaps I am being overly dramatic…

I know that I have come to  a pivotal point in my life when I actually find myself wanting to  quote a Kenny Rogers song.  I will give you a minute to Google who he is (or remind yourself, if you used to know).

…(cue elevator music)…

So the Gambler is one of those songs that is lame and cheesy and makes you roll your eyes, unless you are a few pints in and sitting around a bonfire, in which case it becomes the best song in the world to sing at the top of your lungs with four or five other similarly inebriated friends (or so I’ve heard).

It has the infamous lines: “You have to know when to hold ’em/ Know when to fold ’em\ Know when to walk away/ Know when to run”

And so, these lines must have some how become stuck in my subconscious with repetition  (the song did come out when I was a kid) because I have frequently found myself assessing whether my current situation is worth sticking out or whether to just walk away.

In fact, it really must have become so ingrained in me that I tended to lean heavily on the walk/ run end of things.  My poor unfortunate first boyfriends…they didn’t have a chance…one wrong word or move and I was like, “ya, I’m done – you can blame Kenny Rogers”.

In fact, this carried over to my HR career too.  At the time that my HR career started, I was at a much more confident place in my life and that, coupled with my “it’s just a job” attitude, I didn’t have qualms about moving along if I didn’t like what I saw on the horizon or in some cases, if I didn’t really connect with my environment or boss.

As a result, I *may* have become a bit cocky about this in thinking that I am always going to be the one making the choices and calling the shots.  I took it for granted that if things were not connecting for me, then I would walk/run on my terms.  And so, it came as a big ole slap in my face when I recently found out that my manager is moving into a new role.

Now what you have to understand is that I have never worked for someone in HR that I have admired, respected, and been motivated by as I have with my current boss.

I have worked for many good people, but this is different. I am inspired, I am learning, I’m actually *nicer*…I mean, I ask you, when was my last snarky post? When was my last post?! Exactly!

All hysterics aside, I am extremely happy for her, as she is still staying with our organization and she really is destined for bigger things, but I am incredibly and selfishly pissed off that she is playing the Gambler card on me (because yes, it is all about me).

Managers are not supposed to leave their employees…employees are suppose to leave managers (if they are bad) and stay if they are good.  She is good.  She is really good.  So I was holding my cards…I was staying.  I was really staying.  No walking or running in the foreseeable future.

But she is walking….My reality has become the Matrix…no, no it’s more like Inception.

No, it’s a “train bound for nowhere” .

Lights dim.

Curtains fall.

Cue Kenny Rogers.